Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
