i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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