Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We have so much sex to catch up on
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
