Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
