first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize