I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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