I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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