What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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