I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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