trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize