So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
