you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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