saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
