if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
