Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
