Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
