We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
