I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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