I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize