So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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