In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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