I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize