why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize