I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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