Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
