omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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