You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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