Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
