I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
