He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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