Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm both gender and math confused
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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