i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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