Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
50% drunk capacity currently
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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