no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
