Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
