Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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