my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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