and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
