My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just had sex bonerless
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also, beer. Big fan.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
