if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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