erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need to sanitize my soul.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
