she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
