you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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