i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My vagina just clenched in fear
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
