But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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