I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
