ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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