he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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