You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Actions speak louder than pants.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
