I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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