i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
