So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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