I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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