I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
