Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We need a shit load of segways right now
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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